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Should I tell my current partner if my ex just told me they have an STI?

I've been going out with a girl here at my school for the past six months. Last weekend I went home (out of state), and fooled around with an ex-girlfriend. She called me last night and told me that she might have an STI. She went to the doctor this week and told me she would let me know when she finds out for sure. We didn't use a condom.

My problem is, what should I tell my girlfriend? I really love her and don't want to ruin things because of this stupid fling I had. But I can tell she's annoyed that I've avoided her all weekend. I can't exactly tell her next time we get together that I don't feel like fooling around, but I don't know how long it will be before I know if I'm infected. And what do I do if I am? Help!


Are there routine STI tests that I should be doing?

I have talked to my doctor, to my local Planned Parenthood, and to the local health department. I have gotten the same story from all of them, that unless there are symptoms or a reason, one shouldn't have STD lab work done (or that there wasn't a 'routine' inclusive screen). It wasn't until recently that I discovered that a lot of STDs are asymptomatic. Are there 'routine' tests that should be performed for each of us (besides my normal annual)? If so, where can one go for this kind of testing and what should be tested for?


Should I tell my friend that I'm worried about how she sleeps around?

My friend has only been at college for two weeks, and she has already had sex with several guys. She is having safe sex, so it's not dangerous in that sense and she claims to be enjoying herself. However, it seems to me that such behavior is unhealthy and damaging to one's emotional state and reputation — but I'm not sure how to explain to her how I feel, or articulate what is wrong with her how she's acting. Do you think what she's doing is wrong, and if so, how should I confront her?


What about emotional abuse?

I notice in your mental health section, you only have info on sexual abuse. What is emotional abuse? I've heard a lot about it lately, but it doesn't seem very real to me. How can simply being called names, or whatever, be as devastating as people say? Short of being threatened with murder, what people say is just words. I can't seem to find very good articles about emotional abuse on the web.


Are the preservatives in saline solution safe for your eyes?

As an avid contact wearer, I use saline solution to rinse my contacts daily before each use. Recently, a friend told me that many commercial saline solutions contain preservatives, which could affect the overall health of my eye. Is this something I should be concerned about? The saline I use has always felt comfortable so I never thought it could pose a problem.


How can I help my partner when she has a panic attack?

I need some information about panic attacks. My partner moved with me to NY and, at the time of moving, experienced several attacks of extreme fear.

This has paralyzed her to the extent that she no longer goes to work, her career is on hold, and she requires help traveling, if she travels at all. As well as being incredibly distressing for her, it's not helping our relationship either.

My question relates to my role in helping her recover from this. At present I frequently "overlook" the problem by going everywhere with her and being as supportive as possible. Am I an "enabler"? Should I make her "tough it out," or will she just get better?


If my partner and I both have HSV-1 and HSV-2, will having sex cause more outbreaks?

I have tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. My boyfriend has also tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. This a a long-term stable relationship. Neither of us has outbreaks very often.

Since this is a monogamous relationship, do we need to use any protection for genital or oral sex? I understand that we both have antibodies for 1 and 2 so I don't believe we can reinfect each other. However, when I consulted some doctors and sites, they suggested refraining from any sexual intimacy whenever one of us has an outbreak or feels an outbreak is about to happen.

My question is: if we both already have herpes 1 & 2 can we a) re-infect each other or b) cause either of us to have more outbreaks? Also, can we spread the virus to other locations on our own bodies?

Thanks, Alice. I hope you can help us.